It has been my life experience that every person on the planet lives their life stuck in the "Worst Day Cycle" - no one is immune from it.
Are you unsure if you do? Here are two questions that will give you that answer?
1- As a child, when you felt angry, sad, or scared by anything your parents said or did, at that moment, could you discuss it with them?
Of course not because what was the typical response? "Get in your room! No backtalking! I don't want to hear it!" Do those responses sound familiar? That shows that all of us were squashed and had to deny our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. For the first time, we learned denial and saw the truth of our parents' perfect imperfections. We learned to survive. We had to deny who we authentically are.
2-Do you have any secrets from your parents? Something you've done? Something you believe?
Of course, we do? That means if we shared who we authentically are, deep in our soul, we know our parents won't accept us. Instead, they left us with the shameful message that our authentic feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are defective.
That shows me we have all been through massive trauma and caught in "The Worst Day Cycle!"
These events are significant because our brain becomes addicted to the emotional, chemical response we secrete in these traumatic moments. Unbeknownst to ourselves, our brain seeks to repeat it. It unconsciously chooses this because it takes tremendous energy for our brain to do anything. Its solution is to do as little work as possible. It accomplishes it by repeating what it already knows.
Since our brain "knows" trauma and denial from childhood, it proactively seeks to repeat The Worst Day Cycle. It's true. Our brain seeks to self-victimize us as adults.
What is the solution? We have to admit:
- I am not really who I think I am.
- I am the author of my self-destruction.
Who wants to own these things? No one has shown us how. So we don't, and that kicks off the cycle again, so it repeats over and over.
Imagine it this way. Have you ever watched a 3D movie without the special glasses? Of course, the colors and images are distorted, but since you have had the movie experience, you can still somewhat know what's going on, but not everything is clear.
That's how we live our life. But, unfortunately, we don't realize that with every choice we make (our friends, our hobbies, our partners), we are reliving our Worst Day Cycles, screaming back at us the trauma, fear, shame, and denial that we haven't addressed. And ultimately, we haven't forgiven ourselves.
What are we missing? Why can't we see it? We don't have the glasses.
That's what I discovered: the glasses.
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